So I made a promise to myself that I’m going to try my best to be completely open with my feelings when it comes to all my posts. I never want to pretend and be someone I’m not. I haven’t posted in a long 9 days, honestly the reason is so lame I’ve basically been so busy and by busy I mean hungover, no I didn’t go out every night obviously but I went out once and even twice a weekend and really put this blog on the back burner for the last month. I know it may feel like that’s not alot, but looking back in the last month there’s so many more important things I could have been doing and it makes me so mad I wasted so much time being hungover. UGH.
There’s nothing I hate more than people who are all talk, and right now that’s exactly what I feel like. I know personally I want to be successful, happy and have zero regrets (is that too much to ask?) I would love to have my own business and focus on this blog and turn it into something awesome but frig is it ever hard to stay on track. I genuinely can’t even go like 21 days without fucking up. Lately, I’ve started noticing something about myself that maybe you can relate to and that something is being consistent, or should I say lack there of. It doesn’t matter what it is: health, working out, treating my body right, etc, etc. I can hold my own for the first 21 days and after that it seems I can never get past this certain hump, it’s like my body’s saying “nah don’t worry about it anymore, go reward yourself for your 5 consecutive days of hard work”, like 5 days of hard work is going to me anywhere. I started reading The 5 AM Club by Robin Sharma recently and is it ever eye opening. He talks a lot about how consistency is the key to mastery. How you can eat as clean as you want, workout every day, but none of it will matter if you don’t create a habit out of it. This is where I lack. I’ll be super into things like health, fitness, even writing this blog, I’ll have all of these awesome plans and then BOOM. I just mindlessly get off track of my goals so easily. Don’t get me wrong I’m still 110% into it and it’s what I want to be doing, but it’s like my old bad habits start to creep on me whenever I’m feelin great about myself and bring me back to square one. I know this is basically like the story line of becoming an adult, but today it’s all that I’ve been thinking about.
I’ve started to realize that this is what my body has been trained to do. When I start feeling good, and doing things I know are good for me, getting into a good routine, it’s like my mind starts getting scared of being out of it’s comfort zone, it’s like I go into panic mode for feeling too good and lone and behold I find myself back into my excessive drinking/eating like shit ways. Things that don’t make me feel good and things that get in the way of my goals. I guess the reason I’m going on and on about this is the fact I’ve finally realized that it’s me who has control over this situation. (Shocker!) I am SO over living a life of mediocracy and only feeling good like 60% of the time. Why wouldn’t I want to feel good 100% of the time?! I know what you may be thinking, chill stop being so hard on yourself, but that mindset is the reason I find myself in this damn cycle of going back to my old self sabotaging ways in the first place. I guess where I’m trying to go with this is that of course, I’m human. Taking a break from things is good, but what’s not good is taking a break from things and rewarding yourself with things you know are bad for you. And no I’m not talking about having a cheat meal on a Saturday night people. I’m talking about sleeping in past the alarm all week, not going to the gym everyday, eating junk food all week, not calling your family members, you know…actual important things. It makes very little sense to me how we do things we know are bad for us, and don’t do things we know are good for us. Just a little personal example, the fact that I started this blog. I was so proud of myself for starting it and putting myself out there that I rewarded myself with a weekend of binge drinking which went against basically everything I’m talking about in this blog? Interesting.
This is a pretty long rant and honestly congrats if you’ve made it this far. I hope that me writing this maybe relates with one other person out there. Staying consistent is tough af so please know that it happens to everyone (even if they own a damn wellness blog lol) it doesn’t matter who they are, everyone has their off days, weeks, honestly even months but it’s all about how quick you can bounce back and realize that you’ve got this and the fact were even realizing that were off track is putting us one step ahead. Know that you are not alone. Changing your life is some hardcore shit, and I’ll document it and be honest throughout the whole process. But I’m also ready to start walking the walk. (Lame sentence, I know) I really am the only person who’s gonna make anything happen, half the people we know don’t even like sharing pictures of last year’s midterm with you do you really think they’re going to help you reach your goals?
Never ever forget that every single one of us are on our own journey at our own time, as cheesy as it is, it is so unbelievably true. No two of us are the same. If you’re going to take one thing from this long ass post let it be this: do what makes you feel good. And do what actually makes you feel good. Will drinking 3 nights in a row make you feel good? Will eating the entire boxed pizza make you feel good even when you know you’re basically lactose? Don’t just invest in short term pleasure people. I also really need to start taking my own advice.