Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t actually delete this blog or forget about it! No matter how many times I read or write about consistency it still doesn’t seem to do the trick. But I’m not here to make fun of myself for starting a blog and then dropping it the last 4 months because to be completely honest, the last 4 months were probably the craziest 4 months of my life. By crazy I mean I knew I was going away so I told myself “I’m leaving for a year I don’t have to care about anyone or anything!” – which is a dangerous mentality my friend because I did a lot of stupid shit. But that’s life.
Any who, back in January I decided to take my new year’s resolutions a bit more seriously and by a bit more seriously, I mean actually make goals. My top 2 goals were to start a blog and live abroad. Interestingly enough I completed both of those and the year isn’t even up. In no way am I trying to gloat here, I just find it crazy how when I decided to actually put my mind to something it came to life – well I mean the whole blogging thing half worked. I love writing and learning new ways to be my best self, but was making up really bad excuses to not do it because I got lazy and wanted to drink – that’s why it’s called still in progress lol. But I did stop making silly excuses about how they could never work out, or what people would think and I actually just put in an effort. All of my self help books were right, the world didn’t end!
If you haven’t seen my latest instagram stories that have locations in a language we both can’t understand then you probably noticed I took a leap of faith and moved to South Korea for a year. I know what you’re thinking… Korea? Because same. Here’s why: I wanted to actually immerse myself in a culture long enough to force me to get out of my comfort zone. Also, the pay was great. So, I decided to do what many 20 – something’s do when they want to leave their comfort zone – get my TEFL certificate and go teach some english in South Korea. Leaving so many amazing relationships behind, being terrified of the unknown, having to find my way around a Korean airport alone (not speaking any Korean?) – of course I was scared…for the entire month leading up to it I was thinking of excuses to get out of my contract and crying to every one of my friends saying I wasn’t going. But here I am, typing this in my cute little micro apartment in South Korea where I’m finally over jetlag. I have to say its only been 2 weeks but I already feel so much more confident in myself. Never in a million years would I think I would follow through with this. In university I talked about doing a semester abroad but didn’t actually follow through with it, after I graduated I thought about how much I wanted to backpack southeast Asia but just didn’t plan one thing. Until I decided enough was enough, if I don’t do this now when the hell will I do it.
But let’s actually get into the point of this post. I’m now in South Korea – goal completed. Learning the culture so far, eating the food, meeting other foreigners who are in the same boat has all been amazing…but I’ve found myself sitting here with this “what next” mentality which is like, the WORST. It’s only been 2 weeks and I’m already sitting here thinking about what I have to do when I’m done in a year now that I’ve lived abroad. What’s my next goal? Now that I’m here, I still feel like I have to be chasing after another thing. It made me realize that no matter how many goals you achieve it is human nature to want more. I mean I always read about how celebs and successful people are never happy with everything they have and its all about your relationships and ~internal happiness~ but come on, we always think it’s bullshit. Until now, the first time I’ve really experienced that feeling. Don’t get me wrong I’m loving it and I’m so happy I’m here, but it made me realize that even when you reach your biggest goal, you’re only going to be satisfied for a few days or weeks.
With that being said, take a little advice from me – get out of your comfort zone. Seriously, it’s the only way you’re going to grow as a person, and when you do enjoy it day by day and be grateful for how far you’ve come. It’s an amazing thing to keep setting goals for yourself but you have to give yourself time to celebrate achieving them. I decided that this year is the year I work on being truly happy with everything that I have because no matter where you are, who you’re with or what job you’re doing doesn’t matter if you get to where you want to be you’re always going to feel like it’s not enough after a certain point in time. So I need to take my own advice, start enjoying the journey and not just the destination.
(I hate ending with that stupid quote but it’s the only one that actually makes sense with what I’m talking about lol)